Anywhere But Here

Is this the end of the moment

Or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be?
Or maybe be
Everything that I never thought could happen
Or ever come to pass and
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are

Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Cant see why Id do anything without you, you are
And when Im not with you
I know that its true
That Id rather be anywhere but here without you

Is this a natural feeling
Or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams
In hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember
Or just a cold day in December?
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are

Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Can't see why Id do anything without you, you are
And when Im not with you
I know that its true
That Id rather be anywhere but here without you

Is this the end of the moment
Or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be
For you and me?

Cause you are
Youre beautiful inside
Youre so lovely and I
Can't see why Id do anything without you, you are
And when Im not with you, I know that its true
That Id rather be anywhere but here without you

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When I first heard this song - I was compelled to write about it - Ever had one of those songs? where it just hits you *haha*

This song brought me back to when I was a teen (I noticed I have been having many of these flashbacks recently - maybe I am going through some sort of mid life crisis *haha*).

Just a bit of history, I think I have always grew up a bit awkward - ie. I was never exactly 'smooth' with guys. It's not that I found it hard to talk to the opposite sex - it was just I was too much of their friend, they never saw me to be more than that. It also doesn't mean that I never had people liking me, it's just I never felt the same way back. And for the ones I liked, I always had a crush on them from afar - I could never bring myself to confess, or let them know. It reached to a point where I seriously thought I would most probably be one of those single career women FOREVER *sigh*

My friends still laugh when they recall me inviting myself to their wedding just because I always told them that I wouldn't be getting married anytime soon. But to be very honest, I said those words out of genuine belief... I mean wouldn't you? When you go through your entire high school life having crushes of boys whom you know for sure would NEVER feel the same way back and then to make matters worst - EVERYONE else around you seems to have no problem at all finding a significant other.

To top that, one of my FIRST critiria in a guy besides the fact that he has to be a christian, older than me (you know the NORMAL stuff), I really wanted a guy who never had a girlfriend before, cuz selfishly I wanted to be the ONLY woman in his life!!! Secretly, I just didn't want to be compared with. I mean I was so noob in this relationship thingy, so naturally I wouldn't want to be with pro right? or so I reasoned that he wouldn't want to be with me either.

And so you could see why TIME mattered alot - cuz the older I grew, the chances of me meeting another noob guy (who, let me stress: meets all my criteria) would get exponentially lower!

I guess as time passed, I was left wondering most of the time - When would it be MY turn?

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This song brought back the same memories as to when I sincerely believed that I could never possibly find that guy whom I love as much as he loves me :)

And yet, miracles do happen.

I still do believe this: that we humans - with a lot of help from God do miraculously find that specially someone SOMEHOW...

For some it happens almost effortlessly, for some it may take longer than usual, for others it may take more than one try...

But we still pick ourselves up, leave our disappointments and fears behind, in hope for better tomorrow...

And out of 6 billion people in this world, two people WILL meet and FIT each other in such a perfect and orchestrated manner that NO ONE can possibly prove to be a coincidence...

And from the very core of my being, I now get it, what my parents meant. NO ONE tell me otherwise, for now I know that I know that I know that marriages are made in HEAVEN.

Ps. picture taken by Jenny Sun - I just crop'd it :)